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not giving enoughmy life is a mess and i keep digging myself into a deeper hole ive barely been keeping myself alive i havent been to my classes in over two weeks and ive only had a real excuse the last two days i just blamed it on sleep deprivation but i realized just now… that it is because i dont want to wake up to deal with my life i get up with just enough time to take a shower and make it to work but at least at work i cant think about myself i have to think about my residents when im there i have meaning these people depend on me to keep alive im so glad that im still responsnot giving enough
by ~sy88xo
wasting my precious timeive been wasting all my time for months now i let myself enter this other realm close to once a week and when im in this realm ive always been able to help myself i let myself enter my other world last night and ive barely taken the time to figure anything out when im in my own world i refuse to take the time i cant handle waking up in the morning to deal with myself and all this precious time here its been wasted on video games and television now im done to the last precious hours here if i even have that and i cant bring myself to think about my life.wasting my precious time
by ~sy88xo
i can do betteri feel your glares as i wait to leave i wont even look at you while you drive away there are not enough words to explain the humiliation you put me through you didnt even tell me goodbye but i guess i was expecting it there are no words for the feelings i felt with you and now youre gone and im not ready to let go i want to ask you how you helped me but you wont even talk to me what the hell am i supposed to think i cant deal with it anymore as i pull the blade again why do i let myself fall so hard i let you control my every move my every thoughti can do better
by ~sy88xo
everyone else firstbits and pieces of vital information is finally coming to me i figured out the biggest reason why i havent wanted to be me lately i am seventeen and i live with my father his life is falling to pieces right now and ive been worrying about him instead of me i moved in with him almost eighteen months ago when i had decided my life was too much to bear instead of beginning the road to sanity immediately i made myself even worse ive been blowing if off and now its too late im having to live unbearably yet again i dont know why i cant be content with just me i have alwayeveryone else first
by ~sy88xo
Favourites
It's Love... Make It HurtYour stare arouses my curiosity I often wonder what's going through your mind Are you questioning the future Or assessing the presentIt's Love... Make It Hurt
I stare back in hope for answers But you don't let me in on your secrets Simple one word answers wont help me now Especially when I need you to save me
The staring lasts for what seems like hours, But is only minutes You break it by a small kiss I stare at you once more to see if you have lost your guard But the towers still stand tall blocking me from what I want
I want you to hold me, to touch me I rub my
by ~remember-to-breathe
Im onlyIm only one person that is why I cried. Im only slowly dying from all this pain inside.Im only
Im only showing you the tip of the hurt but it goes deep into my soul. Im only here for a little longer before the pain takes control.
Im only smiling to stop the stares. Im only keeping quiet because nobody cares.
Im only alone because im to shy. Im only alive because I know how to cry.
Im only waiting for you to come along. Im only wondering when things will really start to go wrong.
by ~Kotman
Castles In The SandShe’s faking to be alive Cause dying is so cold She’s falling apart so quickly With nothing left to holdCastles In The Sand
Pushing truth away Praying no more lies Living non-existent Crying constant cries
Wishing for just one thing To turn out like was planned Living only to die Making castles in the sand
He left before he should have She left without a thought Now both are soaked in pain From the heartache that it brought
Wishing to be stronger Loving before too long Nothing wrong is right What is right is wrong &
by ~AshThaDreemr
Dispute of PainI can’t help but be confused My heart tells me that you’re for real But the way your body movesDispute of Pain
Tells me that your pain will never heal
I want to take away your scars Cleanse your soul of all the pain Because you deserve so much better And I’m not going to let you be hurt again
The pain, the sorrow, the tears you’ve shed I understand they are a part of you But your pain is now my pain, love Our souls are now one, not two
I can’t help but be in awe Everything you feel is deep inside my heart It captivates, infatuates, and pulls my will &n
by ~jerzchick16
Devious Journal Entry
SadnessdeviantID
Devious Info
- Current Residence: Newton, Iowa
- Interests: poetry, books, movies, (slipknot) music \m/ shit
- Favourite movie: Homeroom
- Favourite band or musician: HIM, Slipknot, Type O Negative, Freezepop
- Favourite genre of music: Heavy Metal
- Favourite artist: Bailey
- Favourite poet or writer: Myself
- Favourite photographer: Myself
- Favourite style of art: manipulated, freesytle
- Operating System: inspiron 6000
- MP3 player of choice: Windows Media Player
- Wallpaper of choice: Affinity, or Katie and London
- Favourite game: Amplitude, Frequency
- Favourite gaming platform: PS2, my comp
- Favourite cartoon character: Stan, Stewie
- Personal Quote: you wanted me to die in your arms, but that is a privelege you wont be having.
- Tools of the Trade: pen and paper (keyboard)
- Email: sy88xo@yahoo.com
- AIM: alwaysdevil14
- Yahoo: sy88xo
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